Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
