my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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