Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I AM VODKA MAN
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Randomize
