I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Randomize
