4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
it wasn't lemon gatorade
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Randomize
