I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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