kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Randomize
