i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
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