Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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