I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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