Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Sex in the backyard? Check.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
