It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
