But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
