I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
