what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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