I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
