I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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