So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
