I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
