i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
