I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
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