I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
