the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Randomize
