I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
