He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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