I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
