Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
