ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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