So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
