I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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