she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
