The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Randomize
