in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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