I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
