is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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