We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
