Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
