i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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