I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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