it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Randomize
