it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
