if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
