I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
