you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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