NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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