if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
At least life still wants to fuck me.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
