This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
