i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Randomize
