TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
