i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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