i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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