Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
